Life's Ironies
by Stun04
Summary: Clark get's his heart broken but Lois is there to help. AU story involving season 7


So I have lots of ideas for stories but just don't have time to keep up with them all so my thinking is to compromise and just write a long one-shot so here's the first of a couple ideas I've got going.

So its kind of angsty which I don't do often so please bear with me, cause there will be happiness at the end.

**LIFE'S IRONIES **(AU)

Clark was a formidable man; he could withstand being hit by a bus, shatter bullets with his bare hands and throw a car as if it weighed like a feather. So it was amazing that this little piece of plastic could shatter him. He had found it by accident; he was looking for his toothbrush and suspected that Lois had hid it on him when she and Chloe had spent last night out at the farm. He had looked into the garbage can wondering if she could have been as evil to toss it in the trash. Thinking she very might well be he looked into the garbage. He hadn't found the toothbrush though; no that wasn't what he found at all.

That was how he had come to find himself sitting on his bed staring at the piece of plastic that taunted him. It was an at home pregnancy test. He tried to wrap his mind around it, perhaps it wasn't so bad, and maybe it belonged to Chloe or even Lois. Though both girls had acted perfectly normal that morning and were planning on playing drunken Lord of the Rings that night. Not the behavior of an expectant mother. No the only person acting abnormal in the household had been his girlfriend, one Lana Lang.

He had been so involved in his thoughts he didn't hear the cousins come home, call out to him or troop up the stairs to find him. Lois was first through the door.

"Smallville you better not be naked." She yelled out.

"It is kind of his house." Chloe said from behind her and Lois snorted.

"You just want to see him naked." She teased.

"And you just want to see him naked _again_" Chloe shot back. She was over Clark and madly in love with Jimmy but neither woman was stupid, Clark Kent was built like a god. She nearly smacked into Lois's back when her cousin came to an abrupt stop. "Jeez Lo, signal when stopping would ya." Chloe said, it was then that she noticed Lois was frozen staring ahead. She peaked around and saw her best friend sitting on the bed looking shattered. He was holding something in his hand but Chloe couldn't see what it was.

"Smallville?" Lois said softly. Clark looked up at her as if noticing her for the first time. She felt her heart lurch when she saw tears in his eyes. She stepped forward ready to comfort him or do whatever it took to make that look go away that was deep in his blue orbs. She may bust his chops but pain was something she never wanted to see Clark in. It was then that she saw what he was holding in his hand. A pregnancy test.

She knew it wasn't hers and she knew Chloe would have said something to her so it left on candidate Lana. Lois wasn't sure why her stomach plummeted at that thought. She and Lana got on ok they weren't good friends or anything but she put up with her for Clark's sake. For some reason the thought of Clark and Lana having a baby didn't sit well with her.

"Wow" she said softly "Are congratulations in order?" it didn't make sense though, Clark was perfect father material why would he look so shattered at the prospect of being one.

Chloe came around and saw exactly what Clark was holding and she gasped. She knew immediately why Clark looked so torn up.

"Oh Clark I'm so sorry." She said moving to sit by him pulling him into her embrace. Lois stared at the two completely confused, it wasn't like Clark and Lana were in high school with their futures on the line, they were adults and as far as Lois knew kids were right around the corner for the couple.

Clark wouldn't allow the tears to spill no matter how heartsick he felt. He glanced up and saw Lois looking at them befuddled. Chloe knew because they shared everything.

"Excuse me for a second." He said excusing himself to go into the bathroom, he dropped the test in the trash and closed the door behind him. A second later the two women heard a retching sound, Clark was getting sick.

"Ok what the hell is going on?" Lois turned to Chloe torn from asking her cousin or running into the bathroom and taking care of Clark, in the years she had known him she had never seem him get sick.

Chloe looked stunned she couldn't believe it. "That didn't happen to belong to you did it?" she asked and Lois gave her an incredulous look and Chloe smiled sadly. "Thought I would ask. Uh here's the thing that is obviously Lana's test since we are the only three women who have been here and uh well it isn't Clark's baby." Chloe said softly and Lois's mouth dropped.

"How could you know that?"she asked.

"Look I'm not going to get into details but Lana and Clark haven't been uh well together in a really long time." Chloe said twisting her hands anxiously.

"You mean to tell me that she lives here with Clark and isn't well you know with him?' Lois asked stunned, what was wrong with the girl. Ok that thought needed to get the hell out of her head, this was not the time nor the place to delve into any kind of thinking of sex and Smallville.

"I can't explain it but Lana kind of cheated on Clark awhile back, well she sort of cheated, she didn't realize she was cheating. Anyways they've been trying to work out their issues but I know Clark hasn't been with her." Chloe said.

"Ok that didn't even make sense." Lois said with a shake of her head. "So could it be the guy she did or didn't cheat with?" she asked.

"No thank god." Chloe said "That was almost five months ago."

The retching from inside the bathroom had stopped and they could hear the sink running.

"You said she didn't realize she was cheating? Was she drugged or attacked or something?" Lois said with a pit in her stomach.

"No uh look a while back there was a guy who looked like Clark, Lana believed it was him and she slept with him. It was a meteor thing." Chloe said grateful for the excuse, one could blame anything on the meteors.

"How could she not know it wasn't Clark?" Lois asked skeptical.

"You didn't" Chloe said and Lois looked at her confused.

"The day Clark grabbed your ass, not him, it was the other Clark." Lois just shook her head.

"This town is seriously so screwed up" she exclaimed. "But still I even knew Clark was acting strange how could his own girlfriend not see it and then sleep with the guy?"

"It doesn't matter." Chloe said looking at the bathroom door. She hoped Clark was too involved in his thoughts to hear them. "What matters now is that she's pregnant and it isn't Clark's and he's crushed."

"Maybe I should go check…" Lois was interrupted by the sound of a door downstairs opening and closing.

"Clark, honey are you here?" they heard Lana's voice call out.

Lois felt her blood boil inside of her as far as she was concerned Lana Lang was vermin and Lois was the person who needed to take care of it. The bathroom door opened and Clark came out he was eyeing the door warily. He had obviously heard Lana's voice. The look in his eyes read clearly that he wasn't ready to talk to her. Lois went to him and gripped his arms gently and looked into his hurt eyes.

"I'll take care of this ok? Stay here with Chloe." She gave her cousin a nod and headed down the stairs. There were certain things a person should never do and the number one item on the list was mess with the people she loved. She paused on the last stair, when did she love Smallville? She shook her head; they really had become close this past year she would even say he was her best friend, so ok she did love him and Lana messed with him and that is unforgivable. She entered the kitchen to see Lana fixing herself a bowl of cereal.

"Hello Lana" Lois said with a super sweet smile.

"Lois hey, I didn't know you were here" Lana said surprised. "I thought you and Chloe left early this morning."

"Yeah thanks for letting us crash here last night it was late and neither one us was up for driving. We came back after running some errands. Chloe is upstairs with Clark right now they had some things they needed to discuss." Lois looked over towards the packages on the table and saw a Victoria Secret bag, a bag with candles and a bottle of champagne. Closer inspection showed it was non-alcoholic. "Wow looks like you have a special evening planned."

Lana smiled uncomfortably. "Yeah I just want to do something romantic for Clark and thought tonight was the best night. "

"Oh but Clark said he was going out of town." Lois said faking confusion. "He's supposed to go see his mom."

Lois watched as Lana paled. "What? No, he can't leave he needs to be here for this romantic evening. It needs to happen tonight." Lana said seemingly forgetting Lois was even in the room with her.

"Well if you're planning on seducing Clark and passing the baby off as his, what is one more day or two?" Lois said coldly.

Lana froze and very slowly turned to look at Lois. If Lana hadn't screwed over Clark she might have felt bad for her as she looked like a deer caught in the headlights. She watched as Lana attempted to gain composure.

"I'm sorry what are you talking about?" Lana asked blankly.

"Forget it Lana, the pregnancy test has already been found which by the way when hiding a pregnancy from your boyfriend don't leave the test in his trash can." She said folding her arms across her chest.

"Does Clark know?" Lana asked pained.

"Yeah he knows." Lois said.

"I need to see him." Lana said trying to go around Lois but found she was hitting a brick wall as Lois blocked her passage. "Lois, please move this has nothing to do with you."

"You're right it doesn't have anything to do with me, but it does involve Clark and right now he doesn't want to see you so I'm going to do my damndest to make sure he gets what he wants." Lois said.

Lana's eyes burned angrily. "What do you even care Lois, it's not like you and Clark are even friends."

"That's where you're wrong Lana, while you've been off whoring it up with Clark look a likes and god knows who else." She said gesturing towards Lana's stomach. "Clark and I have become very good friends."

"He told you about that?" Lana asked referring to Lois's comment about the Clark look alike.

"No he didn't, Chloe caught me up on that one, who which by the way she is upstairs with Clark right now. Now tell me I've only known Clark a few years and I want to rip your hair out, Chloe has been his best friend long before you ever joined the circle. You want past me? Do you really even want to know what Chloe probably wants to do to you?" Lois said with a smug grin.

"Look" Lana said trying to gain control of her racing emotions. "There is more to this that you don't understand. Clark was punishing me for something that I didn't mean to do. He wouldn't let me back in and I was hurt and confused and."

"And you thought the best way to make it up to Clark was to cheat on him again?" Lois asked incredulously.

"You don't understand" Lana shouted. "You aren't with him you don't know what it's like."

"You're right I don't understand because I do know if I had a man as good and honest and true as Clark I wouldn't so much as look at another man." Lois said angrily.

"Honest and true?" Lana asked with a sneer. "Clark Kent is an experienced liar and you happen to be one of his latest victims. Don't preach to me about what kind of man he is." Lana said snarkily.

Lois slammed her hand on the counter angrily. "You got knocked up by another man and got caught don't you dare try to blame this on anyone else. So who's the father, Lex?" Lois asked.

Lana made a disgusted face. "No! How can you even ask me that?"

"Oh I don't know it's not like your moral compass isn't skewed as it is, don't look shocked that I may think the worst about you." Lois said sarcastically.

"Who the father is, is none of your business. Look I need to talk to Clark and you're obviously going to cause problems so I'll just come back later." Lana said grabbing her purse.

"Oh I'm not going anywhere." Lois grabbed the purchases Lana had made earlier and all but threw them at her. "Get this shit out of here the last thing Clark needs to be reminded of is how you were going to trick him into believing it was his child you're carrying."

"You bitch." Lana said quietly. She looked at Lois with fury in her eyes. "Say what you want now but it won't matter, Clark will take me back, he always does. And when he and I are back together I'll make sure you are never around him."

"Try it" Lois said her voice cold. Lana stormed out and slammed the door behind her. Lois shook her head in shock, how she ever thought Lana was an ok person escaped her.

"Everything ok down here?" Chloe asked entering the kitchen warily.

"Yeah no bloodshed." Lois cringed. "So uh you heard all that?"

"It was kind of hard to ignore the yelling. I think Clark wanted to come down but realized you were holding your own." Chloe said with a smile. "Look I hate to do this but I have to get to work, I tried to call in sick but it was a no go." Chloe said regrettably.

Lois waved her hand. "Go I'm off today and I'll stay with him."

"Thanks" Chloe said. "Take care of our boy." She called out as she left the house.

Lois opened the freezer the wheels turning she grinned when she saw the double chocolate ice cream. She grabbed it and two spoons and headed upstairs. She knocked on the bedroom door gently and peaked inside. Clark was laying on the bed propped up against the headboard. He glanced over at her.

"Hey" she said softly. "I brought reinforcements." She said holding up the ice cream and spoons.

Clark gave her a small smile. "I appreciate the effort but I don't think chocolate ice cream is going to fix the problem."

"You underestimate the healing power of the cocoa bean Smallville." Lois said crawling onto the bed and stretching out next to him and leaning on the headboard. She sat close to him and their arms were pressed against each other. She handed him a spoon and held out the ice cream. "Chocolate makes the world go round."

Clark chuckled softly and Lois was glad to hear the sound. He took a bite of the ice cream and stared at the spoon. "I don't understand." He said softly.

Lois looked at him sadly. She wasn't great at the whole comforting thing but her friend was hurting and she would do her best. "I know you don't, but Smallville, its hard to wrap the mind around the fact that she could do this to you."

"No I mean I don't understand how I feel." Clark said looking at her. "I mean I'm hurt, and angry but I'm not wrecked. After all of these years thinking Lana was my true soulmate shouldn't I be feeling torn to shreds? When I saw the test at first the wink was knocked out of me, I wasn't sure what to do, but then you and Chloe came in and then listening to you and Lana argue it was like I never knew Lana at all. I almost feel relieved. What does that mean about me?" he asked.

Lois looked at him shocked she sure as hell wasn't expecting that from him. "Wow Smallville I thought we were going to have to hit all the stages of grief but you went straight to acceptance. Or are you perhaps in denial?" she asked.

"No I'm not in denial." Clark said with a small smile. "Things have been tense between me and Lana for a long time and I know she wanted things to go back to the way they were but I couldn't. I mean she lived with an imposter for a month and didn't realize it wasn't me, hell she fell harder for him then she did me. I tried to make it work at least I thought I did but maybe I did push her away too far."

Lois looked at him stunned. "Ok wait, first off it doesn't matter if you were pushing her away that doesn't excuse her getting pregnant and then planning on seducing you to trick you into believing you were the father. Now explain the whole month with the imposter, why was she with an imposter for a month? Where were you and where were we how did we not know you weren't you?" Lois asked totally confused.

Clark looked at her stunned for a minute realizing that he had let it slip about Bizarro. How was he going to explain this one? He realized he was tired of lying to Lois, he was just plain tired. He rubbed his eyes.

"Is this what Lana was talking about, the lies?" Lois asked.

"Yeah it is, but before I tell you everything Lois it's important that you know that I wasn't lying to you to hurt you, or that I didn't trust you with my secrets, because I do. It's just people who know my secrets tend to get hurt and I didn't want that for you." Clark said.

"Chloe and Lana know though don't they?" Lois asked, thinking of all the cryptic comments she had heard from Chloe and Lana when talking about Clark.

"Yeah my parents know obviously and a friend from childhood Pete knows and Chloe and Lana. But you're the first person I've ever wanted to tell." Clark said.

Lois chewed on her lip. "Smallville, look I appreciate this but I don't want you to tell me because you're backed into a wall. I can ignore this if you want me to."

"No Lois, I want to tell you." Clark said. "Lois I'm not from around here."

_Hours later_

"Wait wait, you're telling me that somewhere deep inside you have the ability to fly, but can't because you're afraid of heights?" Lois asked trying not to laugh. She was sitting cross legged on the bed across from Clark.

He rolled his eyes. "I didn't say that, I just know when I was Kal-El I flew."

"Smallville you're invulnerable if you jump out your window nothing will happen to you, how can you be afraid of heights?" Lois asked.

"I don't know" he said exasperated. "Why are people afraid of a lot of things? It doesn't always make sense."

"Ok" Lois said putting her hands up in surrender. "I won't tease you about the heights thing under one condition."

"What's that?" he asked suspiciously.

"You take me flying before anyone else." Lois said.

"Deal" Clark said and Lois grinned. He looked around and then back at her. "We've been talking for a couple hours and I haven't thought about Lana once. Thank you"

Lois rubbed his arm. "Hey you got me through my break up with Oliver, I'd probably still be sitting in the dark if you hadn't taken care of me that night. I want to do the same for you."

"You've done fine without him." Clark said and Lois gave him a skeptical look. "What about Grant?" he asked.

Lois sighed, "Grant was a rebound and that was all. But you're right I'm better now and you will be better too. The important thing is you've seen the true Lana so you know what you're working with now."

"You know what she said isn't true right?" he asked and Lois looked at him confused. "Even if she and I were to get back together, which I'm not planning on, she couldn't drive you and I apart. I wouldn't let that happen." He said brushing hair affectionately out of her eyes.

Lois smiled. "Neither would I." It was then that Lois realized that she and Clark had moved close together and their faces were only inches apart. They stared at each others lips for a minute when Clark started to lean in. Lois put her hand on his shoulder and stopped him. "Smallville no"

Clark realized what he was about to do and pulled away as if burned. "God Lois I'm sorry I don't know what I was thinking."

Lois grabbed his arm before he could pull away completely. "Smallville wait it's ok. You're hurt and looking for comfort. It's called a rebound." She said referring to her comment about Grant.

"I've never I mean I don't." Clark said trying to explain himself.

"Of course you don't, you're not the rebound kind of guy. But it's ok. Look if you need someone to help you get over Lana then that's what you need. I just don't want to be her." Lois said.

"Yeah of course, I understand" Clark said finding her comment hurt.

"No Smallville you don't" she took a deep breath. "You and I have become close, very close in the past year." She took his hand in hers. "I wouldn't mind taking this relationship to another level Smallville, but if we were to do that I don't want it to be a rebound thing. If you and I were ever to take that step I would want it to be real and lasting."

Clark looked at Lois stunned; never in their relationship did he ever hear her speak so freely of her feelings. He was also stunned that she would even consider the possibility of being with him. "I would like that." He said hoarsely.

Lois smiled and got off the bed. "Good" she said with a little nod. "So just work on getting better and we will see what happens." She stopped and looked at him with a small smile. She stepped up to the edge of the bed and grasped his chin in her hand and tilted his face up. She gave him a deep and passionate kiss. She ran her fingers through his thick hair and let out a whimper of content when he returned the kiss their tongues sensually tangled together. When the need for air became persistent they broke apart and rested their foreheads together.

"Wow" was all Clark could say.

Lois grinned. "That's just a preview." She said stroking his cheek. "Have a rebound fling, cry your eyes out, punch a car. Do what you need to do to move on Smallville, I'll be waiting." She stood back up and walked to the door. She glanced back. "Try not to take too long though ok?" she asked with a wink and let herself out, leaving Clark sitting on the bed with a goofy grin on his face.

_Three Years Later_

Clark entered the front door and threw his keys on the hall table. He loosened his tie as he called out to see if anyone was home. Superman had a rough day and Clark needed to wash up before dinner with his mom tonight. He walked into the bathroom as he thought about the story he was working on. He came to a dead halt when he looked at the counter. Sitting on the counter was a pregnancy test. He stepped closer and saw it had a big plus sign on it.

"Surprise" he turned to see his wife standing behind him.

He looked at the test and then back at her feeling speechless.

"It's yours" she said with a smirk.

His face went from stunned to indignant. "Of course it is." He said. Lois Lane Kent giggled and threw herself into her husbands' arms. He scooped her up gently and spun her around.

"So I guess this means you're excited." She giggled as he placed kisses all over her temple face and neck.

"You think?" he asked and they kissed hungrily. They had just been married over a year and Lois had been true to her word she had waited for him. It had taken him awhile to get over his pain from Lana's betrayal. She had tried to win Clark back but it didn't work. Lana eventually revealed that she had a one night stand with some stranger that had caused her pregnancy. She eventually left town and she nor Clark spoke again. He and Lois got together and dated about a year when he proposed. She had said yes and now here they were in their bathroom sharing their news that Lois was pregnant. Who knew that life could turn out so good?

Ok so I hope you liked it please review.


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